The Buzz on Youth Sports

Getting Cut from the Team
© Jon Buzby, www.JonBuzby.com

For thousands of dads (and moms) around the country, the next few weeks bring with them more anxiety than their worst day at work - fall sports will start, and there's a chance your son or daughter will get cut from the team.

It might be a travel or high school team and the sport is irrelevant; it's more the fact that your child might experience the disappointment of that after-practice "call into the coach's office," or even worse, the posting of the list that inevitably is not going to include his name. Not everyone will get cut, but many will. Not every parent will care, but most will.

Most of us parents have committed the better part of our adult lives making sure our kids get to practice, work on their skills between practices, attend games on time, get lectured after games, practice between seasons and still are excited to sign up again next year (almost as excited as us parents).

My son is getting ready to try out for his high school soccer team. Forty kids are trying out for 16 spots on the freshman soccer team. Forty former recreation and travel-team superstars vying for 16 spots. Forty kids who all think they will make the team.

I went through it in high school. Thousands of other parents around the country have, too. The difference is, this time it's my kid. I actually think it's more stressful going through it as a parent than it was as a player.

No matter how much we try to stress the importance of getting in shape and being ready for that first day, the laziness of summer makes sleeping in, video games and fantasy football preparations much more appealing. And I honestly can say I don't remember running at 6 a.m. every summer morning, either. I can't imagine what kind of shape I would have been in if there were fantasy leagues to prepare for back then.

My wife told me to stop worrying about it. And she's right. In this day and age, our kids have every tool they need to best prepare for these tryouts. They have individualized sports training devices, weights, bikes, jump ropes, personally designed workout schedules and our complete support. They don't need any equipment for pushups and sit-ups. They choose whether or not to take advantage of these things - just like we did (or didn't). There's nothing we can do about it if they don't.

Telling myself all these things probably won't make it any easier if I get that call from him telling me he got cut. But I hope I'll remember then what I'm writing now - that not every child is going to make every team and something good will come out of it down the road. I hope my son will take from this experience what all of us hope our kids (and ourselves) get from every good or bad experience - a lesson learned that they can take with them for the future.

All over America in the next few weeks there will be cuts made. Our job as parents is to make sure that we don't let our frustrations show. The last thing kids need is to think is they've let us down over not making a team.

Deep down, if he does get cut, I'll be as disappointed as him - maybe more so.

More importantly, no matter how much I think he could have prepared better or differently (and who's to say I'm right?), that's not the lecture he'll need to hear if he calls to tell me he got cut.

I hope like heck he makes the team, but if not, at that point I plan to do what I should do, what every parent should do - be disappointed for him, not in him.

That's the message I plan and hope to convey to him.

That's the message every child cut from a team should get from a parent when he or she breaks the bad news to mom and dad. That's the message they need to hear.

Won't you join my team? There are no cuts!



© 2007 Jon Buzby

Jon Buzby is a successful syndicated columnist and former youth coach. His column, The Buzz on Youth Sports, appears in newspapers and magazines around the country as well as throughout the Internet. His latest books are, "Coaching Kids: It’s More than X’s and O’s" and "Raising a Sports Fanatic." Email your questions or comments to Jon via email or visit his website at www.jonbuzby.com for more information.

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