The Buzz on Youth Sports
Let the Coach do the CoachingBy, ©Jon Buzby - www.JonBuzby.com
It's a common sound around ballparks, soccer fields or any youth sports venue now that the fall season is underway. More than cheering or clapping, you hear Moms and Dads yelling at their kids to "run faster," "pay attention," "pass the ball," or "SHOOT IT NOW."
I've even caught myself doing this ~ on more than one occasion I'm ashamed to say. I figured I better explain myself to my son before I got the reputation of being just another "Little League" parent.
So I asked him, "You do know that when I yell instructions to you, I'm not yelling at you, I'm just trying to help?" He responded, "I know that Dad, but you could wait and just tell me after the game. Most of the time I can't even hear you anyway and when I do, by the time it "clicks" in my brain, the play is over and all you've done is distract me." And you know what, he's exactly right.
The only person giving instructions to the players should be the head coach or the assistant coaches (and sometimes even they just have to let the kids play and learn from their mistakes). We often forget, or never experienced, what it's like playing in a competitive atmosphere. It's hard enough running the field, remembering the game plan and playing your best, let alone having to listen as three different people yell three separate sets of instructions.
My guess is sometimes the instructions you are yelling do make perfect sense. But I also imagine they occasionally go against what the coach wants your child to do. I see this all the time when a coach is trying to get the players to pass to a certain spot or run a particular play, and a parent yells out something completely different. I even watched a coach yell at a parent one time at a baseball game for telling his child to steal (the team had a 15-run lead late in the game).
Put yourself in your child's shoes for a minute. Think about what it would be like when you are on the golf course or tennis court and every time you got ready to hit the ball, someone yelled out for you to do something different. How would you play?
The next time you're going to yell something to your child, try yelling, "Good job, keep up the good work," and leave it at that. Hopefully the parents around you will follow your lead. I guarantee your child won't tell you after the game, "Geez, Dad/Mom, I missed you yelling instructions to me during the game."
And I guarantee the coaches won't miss it either.
Jon Buzby is a syndicated columnist. Reach him at JonBuzby@hotmail.com.
Jon Buzby's columns appear in newspapers and magazines around the country as well as numerous websites. He is also a frequent public speaker and has written two books. He can be reached through his website at www.jonbuzby.com
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