The Buzz on Youth Sports by Jon Buzby

Quittin' Time
© Jon Buzby, www.JonBuzby.com

What to do when your player doesn't want to play anymore.

Registration fee: $75
Roller Blades: $100
Helmet, Gloves and Pads: $85
Hockey Stick: $25
Your child who wants to quit after one game: Priceless?

No, EXPENSIVE!!

As fall sports get underway, more than one parent will be faced with the dilemma of a child wanting to quit a sport he originally couldn’t wait to play (or maybe the parent couldn’t wait for him to play).

Kids play youth sports to have fun. If your child wants to quit, he must not be having fun. It might be the coach or the other players. Maybe your child feels inferior to his teammates. If he's playing the sport for the first time, it might be as simple as he doesn't like the sport. That enthusiasm in the backyard might not carry over to the playing field. Baseball practices are usually more boring than the Wiffle Ball games in the backyard.

So what do you do as a parent?

Try to find out what is preventing him from enjoying the sport and work to solve it so he can have fun and get through the season. Talk to your child and talk to the coach. Sometimes it even helps to talk to other parents who might have encountered similar situations with their children.

If it turns out the player simply doesn't want to continue, you might be in for a miserable few months that are not worth the money you spent. For the sake of you, your child, his coach and teammates, it might be best just to let him quit. But quit with some sort of consequence. The type of consequence will depend on the age and maturity of the child.

If quitting seems to be the only option, try to put some of the responsibility back on the child. You might suggest that he still attend the games to support the team. Maybe he could serve another role on the team (bat boy, score keeper, just a fan, etc.). This eliminates his misery from practicing and playing but still teaches him to follow through.

If that’s not a feasible option (remember, it’s you who will have to drive him to those games he’s not even playing in) another option is to have your child do chores around the house during the times he would otherwise be at the sports activity to help "pay for" your non-refundable investment. For a younger child this might be cleaning his room or setting the dinner table. For an older one, cutting the grass or washing the car might be a reasonable compromise. Volunteer work might be an option, too.

Don't forget to offer the repercussions before the final decision is made because your child might decide to stick it out after all. Also, think twice before signing him up for this particular sport again. And finally, before registering him for any activity (sport or not) review this situation with him and how you will handle it if he quits again.

Even as adults we’ve all started things and then wanted to quit, but maybe stuck it out because at an early age we learned there are usually consequences to stopping something before it’s scheduled to end.

This circumstance doesn’t just have to be a lesson in sports, but can also be a lesson for life.

© 2007 Jon Buzby

Jon Buzby is a successful syndicated columnist and former youth coach. His column, The Buzz on Youth Sports, appears in newspapers and magazines around the country as well as throughout the Internet. His latest books are, "Coaching Kids: It’s More than X’s and O’s" and "Raising a Sports Fanatic." Email your questions or comments to Jon via email or visit his website at www.jonbuzby.com for more information.

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