The Buzz on Youth Sports

Signing Up For That First Youth Sport
© Jon Buzby, www.JonBuzby.com

You’ve been waiting since the day your child was born to sign him up for tee ball and it’s finally time. The only problem is he doesn’t want to play.

He doesn’t want to play soccer or lacrosse or try karate either. He would rather use the racket you bought him to try and hit tennis balls over the house (I’d hide your golf balls). He only twirls the lacrosse stick you had him fitted for at age three to scoop debris out of the street gutters when it rains. And the baseball bat you bought him the day he was born is only swung at lightning bugs during dusk in the summer.

Should you make him play?

I think it’s very important for kids to be given opportunities to try different activities and sometimes that means forcing them to give it a shot. I’m not a proponent of making a child play a sport season after season if he doesn’t want to, but I am okay with insisting he try it at least once.

In addition to developing motor skills and enhancing physical fitness and self esteem, playing on youth sports teams builds social skills, often among a new and different group of friends. Kids need to learn how to get along with children from every background and of all abilities and attitudes and sometimes they can’t get that experience anywhere else.

And it does not have to be baseball. One suggestion would be to tell your child that you want him involved in some sort of sports activity this spring, but he or she can pick what it will be.

One of the best sports for kids to see immediate success in is soccer. So if you are worried about your non-athletic child keeping up with other kids, soccer might be the best sport to try. At age five, basically if you can kick a ball, follow a pack of kids to that ball and enjoy the post game snack, you can feel successful.

Now, what if three weeks into the season he hates it?

Kids play youth sports to have fun. If your child wants to quit, he must not be having fun. It might be the coach or the other players. Maybe your child feels inferior to his teammates. If he's playing the sport for the first time, it might be as simple as he doesn't like the sport. That enthusiasm in the backyard might not carry over to the playing field. Baseball practices are usually more boring than neighborhood Wiffle Ball games.

So what do you do as a parent?

Try to find out what is preventing him from enjoying the sport and work to solve it so he can have fun and get through the season. Talk to your child and talk to the coach. Sometimes it even helps to talk to other parents who might have encountered similar situations with their children.

If it turns out the player simply doesn't want to continue, you might be in for a miserable few months. For the sake of you, your child, his coach and teammates, it might be best just to let him quit. But quit with some sort of consequence. The type of consequence will depend on the age and maturity of the child.

If quitting seems to be the only option, try to put some of the responsibility back on the child. You might suggest that he still attend the games to support the team. Maybe he could serve another role on the team (bat boy, score keeper, just a fan, etc.). This eliminates his misery from practicing and playing but still teaches him to follow through.

If that’s not a feasible option (remember, it’s you who will have to drive him to those games he’s not even playing in) another option is to have your child do chores around the house during the times he would otherwise be at the sports activity to help "pay for" your non-refundable investment. For a younger child this might be cleaning his room or setting the dinner table. For an older one, cutting the grass or washing the car might be a reasonable compromise. Volunteer work might be an option, too.

Don't forget to offer the repercussions before the final decision is made because your child might decide to stick it out after all. Also, think twice before signing him up for this particular sport again. And finally, before registering him for any activity (sport or not) review this situation with him and how you will handle it if he quits again.

Even as adults we’ve all started things and then wanted to quit, but maybe stuck it out because at an early age we learned there are usually consequences when we do. This circumstance doesn’t just have to be a lesson in sports, but can also be a lesson for life.

© 2008 Jon Buzby

Jon Buzby is a successful syndicated columnist and former youth coach. His column, The Buzz on Youth Sports, appears in newspapers and magazines around the country as well as throughout the Internet. His latest books are, "Coaching Kids: It’s More than X’s and O’s" and "Raising a Sports Fanatic." Email your questions or comments to Jon via email or visit his website at www.jonbuzby.com for more information.

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